“I can’t talk to my wife about my business or
she will worry” and other ways we try to manipulate the people we love…
Hello, !
Story time -
Years ago, my husband made a mistake in the business that cost a chunk of money. He didn’t want to share it with me because he didn’t want to worry me.
I was worried because I could sense something was wrong. Of course, being the creative person that I was, I filled in the gaps with STORIES. “He doesn’t love me, he’s
cheating on me, something BAD has happened”
NOPE. He just didn’t want to tell me because he knew I would worry, and when I worried, I became anxious and then short-tempered, and then picked fights over little things.
He was babysitting my feelings for me.
Which is what a lot of peace-loving spouses
do.
Sweet intentions, but not helpful.
One of the reasons that marriages struggle is because one or both partners believe they are responsible for their spouse’s emotional state.
NOPE. BUT of course we
believe it. It’s what we were taught as children - “Don’t hurt someone else’s feelings”
However, when we take more responsibility over someone else’s feelings than they do, we make ourselves more like a parent to them.
Not a great place for a marriage to be in.
The STRONGEST marriages know how to do 2 special skills
-
- SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE
- HOLD SPACE FOR THE SPOUSE’S NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WITHOUT TAKING IT PERSONALLY
Now, Hiram and I can both talk about anything to each other - and to anyone - because we practiced these two incredibly
valuable skills.
Result? Deeper connection with each other, our children, our parents, and our clients.
If you’d like to learn these 2 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY skills - I am teaching them on Day 4 of the “Make Your Marriage Great Again” Challenge.
But hurry - the challenge starts June
5th.
Be Loved,
